Leaving the Cave of Solitude

A long overdue update on The Tea Letter.

I have an unfortunate character flaw: when things get hectic, I withdraw into solitude rather than engage with my community of friends and family. Things have been hectic, which is my way of apologizing for my yearish-long absence from The Tea Letter.

I live in Tokyo now.

Better to rip that band-aid off right at the start. The move was not planned. We came in April 2024 intending to stay 90 days. However, once we were here, we realized how nice it is to live in Japan with a family and, as we were in the fortunate position to be able to do so, we decided to stay.

The first question will undoubtedly be about my visa. It’s notoriously hard to get a long-term visa in Japan without employment at a Japanese company. I don’t work for a Japanese company, but my wife is Japanese. As a result, I was able to get a Residence Card (在留, zairyū)--equivalent to a U.S. Green Card–for one year. Over time, the duration of that visa will go up to as long as 5 years at a time.

We stayed with my in-laws for the first 9 months of our time here. Honestly, it was a good experience. My daughter had a wonderful time surrounded by her extended family. However, while multigenerational living has its perks, I’ve learned I'm too independent to be happy in that situation for an extended period of time. We moved about an hour away into Tokyo in January and we are happy as pigs in mud. We moved to Suginami Ward, which is the westernmost of Tokyo’s 23 Wards, making us official kumin (区民, lit. a person who lives in Tokyo City). Yoshiko informed me being kumin was a dream of hers since she was little, growing up in the suburbs. As for me, I’m happy to live 15 minutes away from Satén, one of my favorite Japanese tea cafes in Tokyo.

Proximity to places like Satén was a big driver for me. In talks with my good friend Paul Millerd over the years, I’ve come to realize how much my environment contributes to my quality of life. Since having children, that’s even more true. With children, I’ve learned that the 20-minute walking radius around my house is an area of critical importance. Where I live, that radius includes multiple parks, two train lines (Chuo and Inokashira), numerous restaurants, an awesome bakery, patisseries and sweet shops (not one but two fabulous mochi shops), multiple tea shops, and the aforementioned Satén. It’s quiet, cute, friendly, and there are hardly any tourists. If I want something more exciting, I can be in Kichijōji, Shinjuku, and Shibuya, all within 20-30 minutes.

In short, it’s paradise.

The only major drawback is the lack of what I call “big” nature (rivers, forests, mountains), which I did have back out in the suburbs of Hachioji. Oddly, I think it’s good to have some dissatisfaction. It drives me to want to do things like convert my U.S. Driver’s License, so I can rent a car and take the family on trips further out into Japan.

The desire for a car surprised me. One of the things I was most excited about was selling my car. I’ll take the train and bus everywhere, so I thought. While it is true I can get to many places in Japan with public transportation, I can’t get to all places. Furthermore, trains and buses often take much longer–something I was shocked to discover. Even in central Tokyo, there are numerous times when I’ve seen driving take as little as half the time of the train. Plus, while I love the area we live in, I want to extend our range and see more of Japan.

I hate to admit it, but a car is necessary after all–especially considering we have our second baby, another girl, coming in July. But first, bicycles.

Yes, the bicycle is the true mode of transportation for the Japanese and the kumin in particular. While everyone bikes, families rely heavily on bicycles to move around with children. A whole new breed of electric mamachari (ママチャリ, lit. “mother’s chariot”; a bicycle commonly ridden by moms and designed to hold two children or a child and cargo) has arisen to meet the needs of the modern parent. I see them lined up outside shopping malls and playgrounds like minivans in the American suburbs. We will be buying one ourselves soon.

They aren’t cheap–I think the least expensive model I’ve seen is around $600–but they are necessary for not only saving travel time but also getting to more places. Kichijōji, which I mentioned previously, is home to the beautiful Inokashira Park. We like taking our daughter there, but it’s roughly 25-30 minutes to get there by bus or train and we have to navigate train stations and crowds (Kichijōji gets quite busy) with a stroller. By bicycle, it’s 15 minutes, door-to-park. To the childless, saving 10-15 minutes (20-30 minutes round trip) may seem insignificant. To the parent, it’s more time for the child to wear themselves out at play and less time soothing a rambunctious toddler who doesn’t want to spend another second strapped in the stroller.

IYKYK.

So, life is good here. It’s not without its challenges, which I’ll explore in further posts, but we love it here. The current plan is to be here for 3-4 years, but our daughters’ education and, frankly, the geopolitical climate will decide how long we stay here.

I apologize for my extended absence from writing. I have lots to say about tea and myriad other topics, which I look forward to sharing with you soon.

Until next time, happy sipping.

Thumbnail image courtesy of Devon Janse van Rensburg on Unsplash.